


Chicken In the Hen House

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, squinty!How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 00:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/644703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy and Jason get bored one day while the Hunters of Artemis are visiting and what do they do? They decide to play Chicken In The Hen House with them. When a winner isn't clear, they break out the Slap Bets. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chicken In the Hen House

"I'm bored." I said. Jason looked at me.

"Huh?" he asked.

"I'm bored." I repeated. "Come on, don't honestly tell me you aren't either. We're the best swordsmen in 300 years, we've both beat Lava Mountain numerous times, between the two of us we're fluent in both Latin and Ancient Greek. Capture the Flag isn't until the end of the week and do you honestly want to go to the Pegasus stables with me?"

He made a face at the last one. "Yeah, I guess you have a point. I am kinda bored. So…ideas?"

I thought for a moment. "A game?"

"Like?"

I shrugged. "Let's see, there's Truth or Dare, Hide n' Seek, Hide n' Tag, Shark Attack, Tag, Freeze Tag, TV Tag, Toilet Tag." I listed off.

"Excuse me?" he giggled. "What was that last one?"

I glared at him before continuing. " Musical Chairs, Dodgeball, Fence Dodgeball, Army Dodgeball, Community, Junkyard, Chicken In The Hen House"-

"What's all this about Chicken In The Hen House?" asked a voice. I turned to see Thalia walking up.

"Hey Thals! How come you didn't tell me the Hunter's were visiting?" I demanded, standing up and hugging her. Despite all of her squirming, I gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Percy." She grumbled, giving Jason a hug.

"No matter what you say, you are my baby sister." I told her smugly.

She rolled her eyes. "Percy, we're not even related to each other."

"Like it matter's Thals." Jason replied. " He's everyone's big brother, even mine."

"Except for one certain girl in Cabin Six, yes, practically everyone in the Camp is my family." I replied.

She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever. Why were you talking about Chicken In The Hen House?" So we explained why we were bored and the predicament we were in.

"So let's play Chicken In The Hen House." She shrugged. "The girls like to play it and it'll give us something to do."

"How many Hunter's do you have with you?" I asked. "Everyone needs a partner."

There'll be enough." She assured me. We found the Hunters in Cabin Eight and they were game so long as they didn't have to partner with a boy. The terms were agreeable, so Jason and I agreed to partner with each other.

"Wait, then one of us Hunter's doesn't have a partner." Sophie pointed out. Doing a quick head count and a quick review of the game, we found she was right. We had and even number and the game required and odd number. None of the girls were willing to sit out and one of us boys couldn't or one of the Hunter's would have to partner with a boy. We were sitting down and reviewing the alternatives when Nico walked by. I grabbed him and jerked the unsuspecting boy into Cabin Eight. He yelped as he was suddenly jerked backwards by his hood.

"You're gonna stretch out my hoodie." He grumbled, straightening his sweatshirt.

"Its summer, it's like 95 degrees out. Why do you need a sweatshirt?" Thalia asked, eyeing the boy that was entirely clad from head to toe in black. Even the Hunter's (who normally didn't like showing any part of their body to boys) were in tank tops and shorts, wearing the least amount of clothes that was decent for a Hunter to wear.

He ignored her. "What do you want, oh Perseus the Great?" he demanded sarcastically.

"We're playing Chicken In The Hen House and have an odd number. You in?" I asked.

"Aren't you supposed to have an odd number for that game?" he asked, annoyed.

"We planned on asking Artemis to be the move caller person, so that leaves an empty spot." Jason explained. "Please Nico?"

"Whoa, hold up. We agreed to play so long as we don't partner with any boys. He plays and one of us will have to partner with him." Said Pheobe, miffed. "I thought we had a deal."

"You still do." Thalia assured her. "Lizzie can partner with Soph and I'll partner with Nico. Agreed?" They shrugged. Nico scowled, but he knew he wasn't getting out of this so he sullen agreed.

We tracked down Artemis at the Big House. She was sitting lazily on the porch swing. Though I hated to take any of her alone time away (she usually didn't have any), I bounded up the porch steps and walked up to her. She looked at me.

"Yes, Perseus?" she asked.

"WewerewonderingifyoucouldcalloutthemovesinChickenInTheHenHouseforus." I said in a rush.

She frowned. "What?"

"We were wondering if you could call out the moves in Chicken In The Hen House for us." I said, forcing myself to slow down. She laughed unexpectedly.

"Oh good gods! The girls are always playing that around the campfire." She giggled.

"Will you?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I usually do; why should now be any different?" We all cheered as she stood up and we settled on an abandoned area. We all turned to face Artemis, having formed the circles. One person on a team was in the outside circle, and then the other team mate was in the other, smaller circle that was inside the other one. They ran in opposite directions until the caller (Artemis) yelled out a move. Then, you had to find your partner as quick as possible and get into the move called out. Last one to do it was out. She gestured for us to run and we all did. My circle went clockwise, Jason's went counter-clockwise. Then, without any warning or indication that she was ready, she yelled out "Newlyweds!"

I didn't hear her. Luckily for our team, Jason did. He ran at me and launched himself into my arms. I quickly recovered from my surprise and readjusted my grip on him. Looking around, I saw all of the Hunters cradling another Hunter and Nico (amusingly enough) in Thalia's arms. Artemis surveyed us and then called out "Laura! Loraine! You're out!" The two girls groaned, but went and sat on the ground behind Artemis. Artemis waited until everyone was back into the circles and running before continuing.

"Titanic!" she called.

I threw my arms wide and leaned forward, Jason running up behind me and catching my beltloops at my waist. Once again, Artemis evaluated us with a critical eye and she called out the names of another group who joined Laura and Loraine. Then we released our partners and resumed running in the circles and Artemis continued to yell out moves, and then pluck out the losers with unerring accuracy.

"Backpack!"

"Koala!"

"Monkey!"

"Bunk Beds!"

"Bridge!"

Doing Bridge with Jason was funny. I laid down on the ground and was the 'river' while Jason did a backbend over me and was the 'bridge'. As per usual, Artemis evaluated us. Jason, however, did not tell me backbends were not his strong suite and he was a particularly wobbly bridge. In fact, while we were waiting for Artemis to tell us who lost, he yelled out "Artemis, if you don't pick soon, this bridge is going to collapse!" She laughed, then dismissed two more Hunters.

"Ponies!" she called out. I dropped to all fours and Jason straddled my back. Artemis immediately called out another group and they joined the other twelve groups behind Artemis. Now there were only three groups left: Thalia and Nico, Phoebe and Viki, and me and Jason. Only one more round before the final round.

"Ummmm…Best Friends!" she called out. I ran at Jason and he ran at me. We collided and I enfolded him in a rib-bruising hug, just as he did to me. We waited until Artemis eventually said "Sorry Phoebe, you and Viki were just a tad bit later." Phoebe groaned, but joined her fellow sisters-in-arms. Jason and I eyed Thalia and Nico nervously. They were quick. We'd have to be quicker or they'd never let us forget it.

"Final Round!" she called out. She gestured for us to run and we did. She picked the exact moment when both of our partners were across from us, as far away as possible, before she called out the last move: "CHICKEN IN THE HEN HOUSE!"

I ran, hauling ass towards Jason. I dropped to all fours, skidding in the dirt. Jason skidded to a halt and perched himself on my back at the exact same moment Thalia balanced herself on Nico's back. Artemis evaluated us, then said "First one to fall loses." and waited.

_Jesus, Jason has got some bony knees_  I thought irritably as we waited.  _Fall Thalia, fall_  I begged, praying in my head. After five minutes of neither one wavering, Artemis pronounced it a tie. Hearing that, I stood up and dumped Jason into the dirt.

"You have got the boniest knees on this freaking blue globe we call Earth." I informed him, then helped him up. We all went to the dining pavilion (it was dinnertime) and were the proud receivers of almost 80+ glares and accusatory stares. We all walked to our tables. Artemis was even in such a good mood because of the game that she allowed the girls to sit with us at our tables and even sat with us herself, foregoing Chiron's company at the Head Table. So all 27 Hunter's crammed themselves at 3 tables, Artemis sitting squarely in between Jason and Thalia at Zeus' table. All of us lounged across the tables, giggling and chatting. During this, we all got to talking and Thalia and I ended up in an argument.

"No, Nico and I won!" she insisted.

"My ass you did. Jason and I are the champs!" I said.

"How about a rematch?" she challenged.

"Fine!" I snapped. Nico suddenly slid into our conversation.

"How about we make this a little bit more interesting?" he offered.

"How?" Thalia asked.

"A Slap Bet." He replied, grinning.

"A Slap Bet?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah. You make a bet and the person or persons on this case, who lose get slapped by the winners as hard as they can hit." Nico told her.

"That sounds so immature." She replied.

"You can be the Slap Bet Commissioner." Jason offered.

"Ooooh, I love it, what are my powers?" she demanded happily.

" Now, before we say anything else, we have to know you're serious. This is a very BIG deal." Thalia warned her, the rest of us nodding in agreement.

"How serious can a bet be?" she asked in disbelief.

"Serious. You now have to put this in your godly title. You will be Artemis, Goddess of the Moon, Slap Bet Commissioner. If you were mortal and could die, this would be going on your tombstone." I informed her.

"And yours is going to read 'Slapped So Hard By Thalia And Nico He Died'." Nico told me smugly. He and Thalia slapped a high five, no pun intended.

"Alright, I'm in." Artemis said.

"Kay, tell her about her powers as Slap Bet Commissioner." Nico instructed.

"You and you alone have the power to judge who won a Slap Bet, recall pre-slaps, dole out new slaps, choose the level of punishment based on the bet and choose the level of slap-ulation they get. That, and you get to rub it in people's faces."

"Pre-slaps?" she asked.

"Yeah. Like, if Jason and I had a Slap Bet going and he found evidence that he was right and slapped me, but then we found out he was actually wrong, and he had slapped me without your permission, you get to double his punishment by recalling his slap and giving it to me." Thalia explained.

"Alright, punishment for this bet?" Nico asked.

She thought about it. "Ten slaps right in a row or five slaps that can be doled out from here to eternity."

"I like this Slap Bet Commissioner; she takes her job seriously." Nico replied, talking to Jason.

"Wait up you guys, she still has to be sworn in." I told them. I looked at her. "Raise your right hand and repeat after me." She did.

"I, Artemis, a goddess of Olympus, swear on the River Styx and all things holy that I will abide by the Rules for the Slap Bet Commission, to be honest, unbiased, and fair in the Ruling of All Slap Bets." I announced, narrowing my eyes on her to enforce the statement.

She sighed. "I, Artemis, a goddess of Olympus, swear on the River Styx and all things holy that I will abide by the Rules for the Slap Bet Commission, to be honest, unbiased, and fair in the Ruling of All Slap Bets." Thunder clapped and we all stood up, ready to go back to the field for one last showdown, but Annabeth stopped us.

"Capture the Flag guys." She said. "Tradition, remember?"

"Later, Annabeth, we're busy." Artemis said, waving her off. We all pushed past her to the field and resumed our positions.

"Alright, we're just gonna keep going until one team makes a slip up." She warned. "There will be no pauses until someone loses. Ready?"

I shared a nervous glance with Jason, then nodded. "Ready."

"Newlyweds! Titanic! Backpack! Koala! Monkey! Bunk Beds! Bridge! Ponies! Best Friends! Newlyweds! Titanic! Backpack!" she called out, sounding like a rapid-fire machine gun. She almost said Koala again, but just as Thalia was getting onto Nico's back for Backpack, her foot slipped. She realized her mistake and almost fell completely off of Nico's back.

Artemis' face fell. "Sorry Thalia. Percy and Jason win the Slap Bet. Choose five or ten Slaps."

"Artemis!" Thalia cried.

"Choose Thalia. This hurts me more than it's gonna hurt you." Artemis said, pain in her eyes.

"Wouldn't count on it; Juniper lets us practice on her tree trunk just for this purpose." Nico said, eyeing us as if we'd just turned into monsters that he had no was to destroy. Which, you know, for a demigod, that's a viable fear.

"Ten slaps in a row." Thalia chose unhappily.

"Five from now to eternity." Nico said.

"I get my sister, you get Nico?" Jason offered. I nodded and he advanced on Thalia. "Which way you want it?"

"Jason…" she begged.

"Which way you want it?" he pressed.

She bit the side of her cheek. "Right side."

Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham, Wham! Jason's hand backhanded Thalia across the right side of her face ten times super fast. She stumbled dizzily and then fell flat on her butt. Artemis winced and I didn't blame her; that looked like it'd hurt. I walked past Nico and he flinched as I went to go walk past him. I smiled.

"Chillax Nico. I'm just walking past you. You act like I'm gonna jump you or something." I said with false innocence, patting him on his back. He flinched every time my hand touched him and I walked away, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from laughing. This was going to be fun. We went back to camp and participated in the traditional game of Capture the Flag, at which we were whupped. The Hunters, wanting revenge for Thalia's Slaps, fought ten times as harder and we got our asses handed to us. Thalia wasn't in such a sour mood after the game. Well, until she saw Jason that was. He took one good look at her and burst out laughing.

"What?" she demanded.

"I can still see my hand print on your cheek!" he chortled. She flushed with an angry embarrassment and stepped forward intimidatingly. Artemis intervened.

"Thalia!" Artemis said. "That would be retaliating from a Slap Bet Slap and I can't let you do that!"

"But Artemis!" Thalia said, aghast. Artemis simply arched her eyebrow and Thalia drew back in resignment. We all went to the campfire and had fun. Thalia was a little moody, but the antics of the Apollo cabin lightened her spirits and she was laughing in no time. Even Nico stopped flinching whenever I came near him and decided to actually sing along with the songs for once. Just as the campfire was being doused and everyone was retreating to their cabins for a good night of sleep before the Hunter's took off in the morning, I said "Nico?"

He turned towards me, unsuspectingly after I'd been leaving him alone, and said "Yeah?"

WHAM!

My hand came up out of nowhere and laid his ass out on the ground. There was a collective  _oooohhhhh_  from the Hunters as Nico struggled to sit up. He spat out blood and I think he pulled a tooth out of his mouth.

"Perseus Jackson!" Chiron began, but was cut off by Artemis as she screamed "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

I was high fived by all of the Hunters, even Thalia and Artemis. Jason helped Nico up and he laughed bitterly.

"Are you sure that was open palmed Mr. Jackson?" he asked snidely.

"Positive." I replied, just as snide. I showed him my red palm, which was throbbing from the force of the hit. "And goddamn I didn't think you had that hard of a head!"


End file.
